I really don't care about your religious or political persuasion. I am pretty sure that I don't care about your justification for your actions. Or even less about your justification for other's actions. If you are hurting inside I will listen or confused I understand. These are confusing times. All I really want to know is are you pro-human. Pro- American is a good start, yet do not stop there! Let that feeling grow inside until your heart is full of a sense goodness and yes, pride at being a member of this great society.
Now let it out so that it touches more people. Embrace the wealthiest among us as well as the poorest, the young and old. Whatever race you are let the feeling spread beyond it! Embrace everyone regardless of sameness or difference. No, not physically that might be too big a leap, so start by turning your mind around and ask what if? What if I made an effort to simply see others as human being no more, no less.
If you are struggling with this as many of us are, then take the love that you have for your dog or cat and use it as a guide. None of us would enjoy seeing our pets treated with cruelty, I know I wouldn't. Let yourself feel the same way towards other human beings, all human beings. I am not saying that I have this down though I do make it a practice. I guarantee that with time you will get better at it! I know that when someone tries to justify the cruel treatment of a human being any human being, I say I am not buying it. I'm pretty sure this makes me pro-human.
Have you ever wondered when you will get be the lead role in the interactive game of life? Pick a role and try it on for size- girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, parent, grandparent, boss, employee, co-worker and any other role you have in mind. Don't forget the Ex! Now take a moment and ask what it is about the role your playing that feels dissatisfying and ask if it's because yours is a supporting one. Everyone else appears to be a lead in this passion play while you are called in as needed. Sometimes you want to leave the set and yet you persevere because it is what you do. You may feel angry at times, though find it difficult to identify the source. You may lay awake at night while others sleep peacefully and you may be indulging too much in sweets or alcohol. Binge watching perhaps!
Bottom line is you are not getting your needs met in this role that you have opted to play. It's up to you to start auditioning for the lead. If you want to audition for the lead you will have to do what all good actors do. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! You have set your expectations too low and now it's time to reset them. Start first by listening to what others say about you or to you. Next work on learning to express how it feels to be a minor player while others organize the big event. Good actors are very expressive and the best make their words count. In time people will adjust to you playing bigger roles and will adapt to you becoming a lead. Though the most import thing is that you do it for you. It's your life after all and you are the only one that can play the lead in it. The curtain is rising. Now, are you willing to take your rightful place at center stage.
I am talking here about the other form of intimacy that tends to attract a lot less interest than sexual intimacy. I am talking about intimacy in our daily lives or perhaps the lack thereof. While this form of intimacy may not sound like a big deal for many of us. We may not fully understand the question. So let me ask it clearly.
Do you experience deeply intimate non-sexual connection on a daily basis? I suggest you use the word heartfelt as a guide to determine if the experience is in fact intimate. Can I include my spouse you ask? Yes, though I would venture to guess that even the majority of people in exclusive relationships will find that their daily lives are so busy, that their best chance at real intimacy is reserved for the bedroom.
I will also say that restricting it only to this arena, may not be a good long term strategy.
How so? Way too much pressure may be place on these intimate moments leading them to be less satisfying than desired. Let the bedroom be a place where tender intimate moments generated throughout your day have a landing zone.
A general lack of intimacy may lead to a feeling of dissatisfaction and placing way too much importance on the aforementioned source. Are you able to find intimate moments throughout your day? If not perhaps it's time to begin making time for more intimate heartfelt moments with your life partner. Then focus on expanding your circle of friends until you find others who are willing to risk sharing their hearts. Give it a try I bet you will find that it is worth the risk.
I am a week away from completion of my second Whole30 and I have been more diligent this time in the temporary elimination of food groups. Those of you that have completed one know that standard Whole30 involves discovering how your body operates without sugar, grains and dairy for a period of 30 days.
These foods are not bad they are just food and this is not a diet it's a reset. Think of it as an opportunity to discover how your body functions, first without them and then again as you reintroduce them. It empowers you to take control and optimize your food choices in a way that only you can. Through direct input and feedback. Your body,your food, your choice!
As I noted in a previous blog, I was very please with the results of my first Whole30, in that I felt more energetic, cough improved, arthritis is better, and I lost about 10 lbs. Though, the reset phase where I introduced these foods back into my daily diet, was less than stellar. Too many food groups reintroduced at once, prevented me from identifying the potential food issues. Live and learn!
This time I will be by the book on the reset phase which is so important. I also eliminated nuts and eggs this go round as my cough had not cleared up completely and I want to see if this makes a difference. The answer so far is not much, and I will witness the effects if any, of reintroducing them soon. I can say that the process of adjustment does get easier with each reset and for that I am thankful. Also worth noting, I did this on my own as Tammy decided to put hers on hold until we do the next one. She was ahead of me anyway and this way we can complete our 3rd round together.
We all walk on our path each day and anyone who has walked over the same path daily for some time will observe that the path becomes well worn. The above title is the tag line for my company Intentional Hypnosis. Why did I choose this expression and what does it really mean? This well worn path is evidence of where we have traveled and clearly shows, that we rarely stray off of it. It is often a path that is walked on without thought or intention it's simply automatic. That's actually a good thing and makes it easy to find our way around without getting lost. I talked recently with a good friend of mine Debbie Taylor MA, CHt, a top notch hypnotherapist in Portland Oregon. She uses the well worn path as a metaphor to describe our neural networks. Our brain creates pathways through thought that active neurons and repeatedly firing the same neural networks.
The habits that we create each day are anchored by these thought patterns. If we want to change a habit or behavior we have to create new thought patterns. We do this by bringing conscious awareness to our thoughts and freeing ourselves from them. As you might suspect this is harder than it sounds. It takes strong intention to consciously create new paths. Have you moved to a new home and found yourself returning to your old house after a long day at work? I know that I have! This is a pretty common occurrence.
It also helps us understand why behavior change feels so difficult. So, that said what can hypnosis do that effort alone cannot? While hypnosis cannot make us do anything that we are unwilling to do! It can assist us in pushing past the resistance that often stops us before we have walked the new path often enough to make it our new routine. With consistent effort over time, supported by hypnosis the new path more quickly becomes the go to instead of the old default. If you have want to create change in your life yet feel stuck contact me and I will help you get that fire of creativity started.
About the Author
Behavior Change Coach and Author James Barfoot holds certifications as a Master NLP practitioner and Clinical Hypnotherapist who is registered to practice in Washington State. He developed The Primal Toolbox a behavior change and coaching strategy based on a tribal models. James lives in Spokane WA.
Break bad habits