Who doesn't want to make their lives better in some way? Be healthier, more fit, have a comfortable home and more than enough money to spend. How about deeper relationships with your spouse or that special someone, and lots of really rich experiences with family and friends. Friends that are the kind of people you can really count on. Sounds pretty good to most of us, you may even say that's the kind of life you are shooting for, maybe with more travel thrown in. So what's stopping you from having this or your own particular version of it?
The answer is that we are missing some key elements to this process. Most of us are pretty good at the first piece which is envisioning. It's pretty self evident that we have great imaginations. How much of your day do you spend daydreaming? Imagining what things would be like if you were living a different life. Moving back and forth mentally between a past you can't change and a future you can't seem to create. You are not alone and it's easy to let days, weeks, months and years slip by in this state of imagining.
Surrounded by people and feeling disconnected maybe even empty inside. Going to events with friends and feeling like you are just going through the motions. Kind of fun on the surface yet nothing real happening on a human level. Everyone busy on their phones telling friends who aren't there how much fun they are having. Consuming just a little too much of whatever intoxicant is available. If you are well off enough, you could really get ahead and make your loneliness footprint global.
Fast forward 20 years and the venues you are going to may not be as cool, your friends a little worn. We are all chasing it are we not? That something out there that will complete us, fulfill us. Make us happy. I have news for you folks, it's not out there!
There is a belief that spiritual teachers ought to be gentle, possibly passive or even egoless in their interactions with others. They will always eat a clean diet and recycle their waste! This has not been my experience and if this is what your seeking you may find yourself duped by someone in a spiritual suit. Spiritual teachers are real people who earned their understanding the hard way by facing their fears and owning their vulnerability. Never mistake this for weakness as having nothing to defend is far from being defenseless.
Personality and ego are two different things! I worked for years with a teacher who had lot's of personality and yes, an ego. It doesn't go away when you become enlightened it just stops driving the bus! It still gets us out of bed in the morning and takes care of our needs while serving our deeper spiritual nature.
I cannot tell you how to live your life, I can only live mine in a way that embraces for me, certain fundamental principles. The catch is that these do not feel external to me, it is as if they were written on my heart. Sometimes, I can see them clearly and at these times all of my actions flow from this place. Other times my vision is clouded by a barrage of thoughts and associated emotions. Actions become indecisive half measures defended by my old story.
It is only through a process of continually returning to this place, that my heart centered actions have grown stronger. Acknowledging this return with gratitude for having done so, leaves no room for feelings of shame or unworthiness. It's not about perfection, it's about practicing excellence which for me is making my best effort over time. This effort of course varies according to conditions.
About the Author
Behavior Change Coach and Author James Barfoot CHt holds certifications as a Master Practitioner of NLP and is a Clinical Hypnotherapist who is registered to practice in Washington State. He developed The Primal Toolbox a behavior change and coaching strategy based on a tribal models. James lives in Spokane WA.
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