I am talking about paying attention at home, work or during social activities to others who may require assistance to complete a task. This is where the paying attention piece comes in. We often want to help and even though it may come from a genuine desire to do so, it is often not required. Be aware that proceeding in this circumstance may actually cause more harm than good by taking away an individuals opportunity to learn.
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There are many books written about the process of envisioning. Focus on what you want then create a vision board and look at it each day. Hold that thought in your consciousness and change will surely take place. This could happen or perhaps you will simply chase after the same old thing and get the same old result. The truth is that we are a vision based culture and most of what we have been trained to envision is fantasy. The perfect home, car, job, date or mate. So many things to enhance our lives and make it all worth while. October/November 2018 Spokane, WA Towards the end of 2018 we examined the key components which affect a positive life change. These components are:
You find yourself with a group of people and you feel like you want to get out! This may be an example of your spidey sense tingling appropriately, but I would not bet on it! More than likely, it is a feeling that you do not fit into this situation or that you do not belong. This is the most likely scenario and it is false. If you are there, than you belong and have as much right to be there as anyone else. Trespassing and B&E's aside, what I am talking about here, are human interactions and what we experience on a feeling level. Now you may feel uncomfortable in numerous settings and want to checkout. I get that, having had that experience recently myself. The good news is that I checked in on the source of the feeling before I checked out. I stayed and no one reacted, though if they did that would have been their issue not mine. Thank you to everyone who visited our new location! We are excited to be located in downtown Spokane across from the Davenport Hotel. New Address: Intentional Hypnosis: 827 W 1st Ave., Suite 203, Spokane, WA 99201. Money is not abundance though it can buy you a lot of stuff. Owning a lot of stuff may give you a feeling of abundance or of fear. Wait a moment you say, I am working pretty hard for my money so that, I will have enough to be secure and to provide for my family. Isn't that supposed to keep the fear away? Yes, only if you are not afraid of losing it or of sickness or the ten thousand other calamities I witnessed today that are apparently affecting so many. I am after all tuned in to the 24/7 Disaster Network. Have to stay informed! Have you thought about tuning in to the Abundance Network? What? There is an Abundance Network? Is that the the one with all the prosperity preachers and MLMers? Not exactly it's probably in a quiet room in your home I know that was where I discovered it in my home, or was it on a mountain somewhere? The truth is it's all around us and within us. I really don't care about your religious or political persuasion. I am pretty sure that I don't care about your justification for your actions. Or even less about your justification for other's actions. If you are hurting inside I will listen or confused I understand. These are confusing times. All I really want to know is are you pro-human. Pro- American is a good start, yet do not stop there! Let that feeling grow inside until your heart is full of a sense goodness and yes, pride at being a member of this great society. Have you ever wondered when you will get be the lead role in the interactive game of life? Pick a role and try it on for size- girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, parent, grandparent, boss, employee, co-worker and any other role you have in mind. Don't forget the Ex! Now take a moment and ask what it is about the role your playing that feels dissatisfying and ask if it's because yours is a supporting one. Everyone else appears to be a lead in this passion play while you are called in as needed. Sometimes you want to leave the set and yet you persevere because it is what you do. You may feel angry at times, though find it difficult to identify the source. You may lay awake at night while others sleep peacefully and you may be indulging too much in sweets or alcohol. Binge watching perhaps! I am talking here about the other form of intimacy that tends to attract a lot less interest than sexual intimacy. I am talking about intimacy in our daily lives or perhaps the lack thereof. While this form of intimacy may not sound like a big deal for many of us. We may not fully understand the question. So let me ask it clearly. Do you experience deeply intimate non-sexual connection on a daily basis? I suggest you use the word heartfelt as a guide to determine if the experience is in fact intimate. Can I include my spouse you ask? Yes, though I would venture to guess that even the majority of people in exclusive relationships will find that their daily lives are so busy, that their best chance at real intimacy is reserved for the bedroom. I will also say that restricting it only to this arena, may not be a good long term strategy. How so? Way too much pressure may be place on these intimate moments leading them to be less satisfying than desired. Let the bedroom be a place where tender intimate moments generated throughout your day have a landing zone. Four Days of Ceremony with James Barfoot, Eve Costello, Ann Coughlin, and Michael Hoffman5/1/2018 June 2018 Deer Creek Campground, Sumpter, Oregon Four days of ceremony in the beautiful Blue Mountains of Eastern Oregon offers the opportunity to journey deep inside yourself and awaken your connection to life and nature. This time functions as a retreat from your everyday life and allows nature and ceremony to balance and reconnect you. I am a week away from completion of my second Whole30 and I have been more diligent this time in the temporary elimination of food groups. Those of you that have completed one know that standard Whole30 involves discovering how your body operates without sugar, grains and dairy for a period of 30 days. These foods are not bad they are just food and this is not a diet it's a reset. Think of it as an opportunity to discover how your body functions, first without them and then again as you reintroduce them. It empowers you to take control and optimize your food choices in a way that only you can. Through direct input and feedback. Your body,your food, your choice! We all walk on our path each day and anyone who has walked over the same path daily for some time will observe that the path becomes well worn. The above title is the tag line for my company Intentional Hypnosis. Why did I choose this expression and what does it really mean? This well worn path is evidence of where we have traveled and clearly shows, that we rarely stray off of it. It is often a path that is walked on without thought or intention it's simply automatic. That's actually a good thing and makes it easy to find our way around without getting lost. I talked recently with a good friend of mine Debbie Taylor MA, CHt, a top notch hypnotherapist in Portland Oregon. She uses the well worn path as a metaphor to describe our neural networks. Our brain creates pathways through thought that active neurons and repeatedly firing the same neural networks. May 2018 Spokane, WA Event Description: Are you tired of caring too much? Are you spending more and more of your precious time concerned about what others think of you? Are you taking on tasks that others could do themselves? Feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated. Learn how to say no! Your first responsibility is to take care of you! Create time for the personal self-care that you have been missing. May 2018 Spokane, WA Event Description: Lots of choice is good right? We’ve never had so many options to choose from. What if I choose the wrong one. What if it’s not perfect then I feel like I really messed up and then I give up. I overeat and overspend I simply fall back into old behavior patterns and feel even worse. Learn to set parameters that simplify the process. By setting limits we regain a sense of satisfaction while maintaining the freedom to choose. A shift just occurred and if you embrace it you will be able to align with and utilize the energy of mother earth as she moves through springs doorway. Whether you see this shift as metaphorical or metaphysical matters not, as it is you that is driving the bus. The actions you take now and your willingness to step through available doorways will effect the kind of year, perhaps life that you will have. There are a few things that are important to know about doorways and how to find them as they are not all alike. Let's look at a couple of examples. Some are really closed but they feel so familiar we try to force them open and this does not go well. Even if we get in we will realize perhaps too late that we have been here before and left for a good reason. Some are open yet so unfamiliar that we either walk by them or take a quick peak and say that this cannot be for us. This may actually be an opportunity that needs to be more fully explored. We see things through the filters of our previous experience and it involves dropping those filters to embrace something new and different. I have been learning a lot of lessons since I opened my behavior change coaching practice last May. It's not a lack of experience on the coaching front, that recently raised warning flags, as I have 10 years as a clinical hypnotherapist under my belt. It was actually the hard work combined with an easing of tension that caused some concern. The tigers tail I am referring to is a gradual slip into unconscious behavior patterns or simply a lack of attention to detail. This is often accompanied by a sense of hubris, that takes us away from the reason that we do what we do. It will be start day for Whole 30 round two in a couple of weeks! I learned a lot the first time and had some tremendous benefits. For those of you who have done one, I was a little weak on the reintroduction phase. This is where we bring our old foods back into our diet to observe what if any effect they might have on our health. My mistake was introducing too many things at once so that it was difficult to determine what made me feel poorly. Kind of like taking your cat and your dog out of your environment for a few weeks and discovering that you feel better. Then bringing them back and discovering that the allergies return. Which pet caused the problem? Also, I wasn't supposed to weigh or measure and Tammy, who will be starting her third round, was kind enough not to say anything when I weighed at 10 days. Please don't do this as the weight is secondary to the other benefits. At two weeks I felt good and experienced what the Whole30 folks call "tiger blood" a higher energy that had me running up and down the halls at work. My cough improved which I attribute to no dairy, and arthritis in knee joints is vastly improved. No more night sweats was another pretty neat change. April 2018 Spokane, WA Event Description: You may drop off to sleep easily and awaken after a few hours or you may lie awake all night waiting for that couple of hours before dawn to finally drift off. Either way your life is negatively impacted. Sleep is a precious commodity that our culture is in dire need of. Learn how Hypnosis can assist you in resetting your sleep habits and patterns to afford you the rest you desire. April 2018 Spokane, WA Event Description: Anyone who has struggled with weight knows in their heart that there are no quick fixes. The solution is the same as for anything that you have gotten good at. Practice creating new behaviors that support the health and vitality that you really want, and the weight will take care of itself. Learn how Hypnosis plays a key role in addressing the emotional components through subconscious support. This then frees you to act on a conscious level and that will transform your life. Who doesn't want to make their lives better in some way? Be healthier, more fit, have a comfortable home and more than enough money to spend. How about deeper relationships with your spouse or that special someone, and lots of really rich experiences with family and friends. Friends that are the kind of people you can really count on. Sounds pretty good to most of us, you may even say that's the kind of life you are shooting for, maybe with more travel thrown in. So what's stopping you from having this or your own particular version of it? The answer is that we are missing some key elements to this process. Most of us are pretty good at the first piece which is envisioning. It's pretty self evident that we have great imaginations. How much of your day do you spend daydreaming? Imagining what things would be like if you were living a different life. Moving back and forth mentally between a past you can't change and a future you can't seem to create. You are not alone and it's easy to let days, weeks, months and years slip by in this state of imagining. Surrounded by people and feeling disconnected maybe even empty inside. Going to events with friends and feeling like you are just going through the motions. Kind of fun on the surface yet nothing real happening on a human level. Everyone busy on their phones telling friends who aren't there how much fun they are having. Consuming just a little too much of whatever intoxicant is available. If you are well off enough, you could really get ahead and make your loneliness footprint global. Fast forward 20 years and the venues you are going to may not be as cool, your friends a little worn. We are all chasing it are we not? That something out there that will complete us, fulfill us. Make us happy. I have news for you folks, it's not out there! There is a belief that spiritual teachers ought to be gentle, possibly passive or even egoless in their interactions with others. They will always eat a clean diet and recycle their waste! This has not been my experience and if this is what your seeking you may find yourself duped by someone in a spiritual suit. Spiritual teachers are real people who earned their understanding the hard way by facing their fears and owning their vulnerability. Never mistake this for weakness as having nothing to defend is far from being defenseless. Personality and ego are two different things! I worked for years with a teacher who had lot's of personality and yes, an ego. It doesn't go away when you become enlightened it just stops driving the bus! It still gets us out of bed in the morning and takes care of our needs while serving our deeper spiritual nature. I cannot tell you how to live your life, I can only live mine in a way that embraces for me, certain fundamental principles. The catch is that these do not feel external to me, it is as if they were written on my heart. Sometimes, I can see them clearly and at these times all of my actions flow from this place. Other times my vision is clouded by a barrage of thoughts and associated emotions. Actions become indecisive half measures defended by my old story. It is only through a process of continually returning to this place, that my heart centered actions have grown stronger. Acknowledging this return with gratitude for having done so, leaves no room for feelings of shame or unworthiness. It's not about perfection, it's about practicing excellence which for me is making my best effort over time. This effort of course varies according to conditions. March 2018 Spokane, WA Event Description: Learn how to become fully engaged in life! Be the confident out going person who fearlessly asks for what they want. Utilize these skills to build stronger relationships in your social and work arena. Experience the benefits of a dynamic self confident presence. Change feels difficult for many of us! There are lots of reasons for this from overcoming resistance to poor yet convenient choices, allocating time for meal prep, exercise and some downtime for yourself. One of perhaps the most challenging is finding support for your decision from those who are closest to you. Spouses, children and close friends as well as co-workers to name a few. I have heard a thousand times about how difficult this can be. The truth is almost everyone is invested in maintaining the status quo and would prefer that you did not rock the boat. You may have heard some of the following non-supportive words, I don't like veggies mom, you're never around when I need you, hypnosis won't work (from the expert who has never tried it). You have been at this for two weeks and I don't see any change. On and on so you get the point. |
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About the Author
I, James Barfoot, have mentored with a spiritual teacher over 20 years. Over 30 years of Tai Qi, Qi Gong and Zen training. As a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner with sixteen years and thousands of success stories, I have the ability to guide you to the result you desire.
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